And then there were two boys who were too sick to dress up for Halloween.  But trust me, they were the cutest Skeletons that you ever did see.

It wouldn’t be a blog-re-birth if I didn’t lead with a couple of photos while I tried to get my sea legs back under me. 

Because words alone cannot convey what it means to have a premature child.

Because words alone cannot change a life born too soon … please consider donating to the March of Dimes today.  For Avery…  For all the other babies out there in the world. 

The March of Dimes released their Report Card on Prematurity and as a Nation we got a D - one in eight babies will be born too soon.  Struggling to breathe, to grow, to overcome their odds.

My beautiful two pound baby girl is sitting in school today surrounded by her friends.  She doesn’t know that today is special, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.  But many of these premature babies don’t make it to their third birthday, they don’t get to go to school … Fate balances on the tip of a pin in the NICU and no one should have to go through that.

Oh.My.Goodness. 

It’s ALIVE!!!

I finally have my blog back again.  *smooch*

So… I seriously contemplated just not writing anymore.

Thanks to a slight hack on our servers (well, the big ones in the sky that we pay other people to keep safe and secure … whoops you mean they were supposed to do that?) the site went down for a really long time.  Long enough that when I tried to log on tonight it was just to verify that it was, in fact, dead.

It wasn’t.  Surprise!

We got hacked …

We take a lick and yet we keep on kicking. 

In 5 days I am packing up 4 kids and 2 adults and we’re all getting on an airplane.  Stories, pictures and a recap of our life to come.

Plus.. sometime this week Miss Avery gets word on whether she is getting into her new Pre-K 3 Program.  I’m biased of course but it will be an amazing opportunity for her .. the fact that she’d be attending the school that I work at just makes it the cherry on top.  Plus the uniform is the absolute cutest thing in the world .. Avery may hate it though as there isn’t a stitch of pink to be found.

Welcome to our world.. again.

I knew there would come a day where Speech Therapy would be one if those things you laugh about.

While playing with a babydoll Miss Avery casually glanced up at a crying Alex (clutching onto Daddy’s legs with a bearhug) and announced
“he’s a whiney butt!”

Yup. Speech therapy works folks. Now we just have to work on the language around her … Ahem.

The big day finally arrived…. the WIGGLES CONCERT!!!

I decided to be stupid and believe the boldface typing on the face of the ticket and left my camera equipment at home.  The arena staff who scanned our tickets let us know that small cameras were allowed but camera bodies with interchangeable lenses were not.   (Say yes or no to all cameras - it’s about the person behind it and not the camera when it comes to taking good pictures … I hate that mentality that a good camera alone will take good pictures)

That camera I love as a fourth child … sat at home.  You know, the one with the cool interchangeable lenses.

But that’s okay.  We had an old, crappy but small point and shoot with us.  And by the end of the night I had my break-through moment where I was glad to be rid of the camera - instead I just enjoyed the time with my children.

I danced with Avery in the row.  I held Alex while he jumped up and down .. and not for one second did I care that I was missing an amazing opportunity to take pictures and record this beautiful moment in their lives.  Instead I was living the moment with them.  Singing, dancing and clapping with the Wiggles.

I’m even more in love with them than I was before the concert.  With both the kids and the band.  

And seriously, Sam walked within inches of me.  He waived.  I fell in love a little bit.

God smiled down on us this day because not only did we get to see the Wiggles but we also managed to get a better-than-decent family picture in the middle of all the hub-bub of a busting concert.   (The one time I didn’t stress about trying to get one.. go figure)

I don’t have a single picture of my daughter dancing like a ballerina during the twinkle, twinkle song … prancing around like the beautiful ladies on the stage and singing along with the song like she does at home.

I don’t have a picture of the twins crashing onto my mother’s lap because they suddenly decided they both needed to be on her lap and her lap only.

I don’t have a picture of Avery calling to Murray as he walked up our aisle .. or the look on her face the first time Dorothy came on stage and she lit up like a firefly.

Or the look on Evan’s face when he realized that the drumline was absolutely the coolest thing he had ever seen in his entire life.  Or how by the end of the percussion he was heartily pounding on his seat in rhythm to their song.

Or the moment when I held Avery high on my hip and she was waiving good-bye while the Wiggles took their final bow.  Or the look of love and disappointment that she held when she asked me if “It over?” and her little voice faltered as she realized that we were leaving.

I don’t need pictures because I will remember every moment forever.  I still love to take photographs but this helped me realize that sometimes you have to live without worry of how it looks from behind a lens.  You have to be in the moment and live it so fully that you don’t care if it’s captured in time with a permanent record to look back on … because it will forever be seared into you memory.

I came, I saw, I danced and I fell in even more in love with my kids.

Thank you, to the Wiggles, to my family … to the lack of pictures to share with the world.

I like the way things look now .. same day, different year. I’ve lived this day so many times over the span of my life but it only takes one to change how you feel about it.

You tell yourself that it will never fade away. And then one day in the middle of cooking dinner on a quiet Sunday night it sneaks up on you. Instead of waiting for it to fall into your lap - accompanied by jack hammers and fear … you are surprised to find that you forgot about it until it hit you with a quiet reflection that makes you smile.

Smile because after all this time it finally snuck up on you. And that’s okay.

This is our fourth trip around this day. And this one is where it stops hurting so much. Instead I’m filled with love, gratitude and awe with everything that we have become.

The emotions are still raw. The images are hard to hide behind. But most of all, it was just one chapter. Our days mean so much more than the last chapter that we had - same day, different year.

Celebrate with me the quiet memories of where we came from.

Three years ago today we brought our beautiful baby girl home from the hospital.

One thousand one hundred and eighty four days old.
No longer defined by the first eighty-eight.

On Wednesday I stayed home sick. What I thought was the stomach flu turned out to just be one of my migraines coming back to haunt me.

However I learned an invaluable lesson on this day.
NEVER… EVER stay at home when you are sick. Rent a hotel room, sleep in the car.. or just trudge in to work and call it a vacation.
But honestly, staying at home is just not an option.

There were tantrums. (Hello year three.. it’s nice to meet you)

There were screaming fits. (He stole my toy. And then the follow up crying from the first offender when the other steals it back)

They drew on the kitchen table with crayons. And then someone turned around and drew on the wall. (Not pointing fingers Evan, really I’m not)

But the best event of the day.. Evan found the very large jar of Vaseline that we use on a regular basis to make our homemade diaper creme. Problem is.. he thought it looked a lot like hair gel.

So we threw him into the bathtub. Appropriately we had just bought the bottles of Dawn that have cute fuzzy animals on them so the proceeds can go to cleaning up animals from oil spills.

It works better on sea creatures.

Dr. Google suggested that we use our other diaper creme ingredient to soak it out of his hair. So I covered him in half a bottle of cornstarch.

Three baths and one VERY unhappy toddler later and this is what we got him looking like by the end of the night.

It took a little over three days to get all the residual Vaseline out of his hair. But now.. he has the shiniest hair on the face of the planet.

As for me .. I’ve now really learned the lesson that there is no such thing as sick time when you are staying at home with the kids. So on the days when I am sick - I am lucky to be able to go to work.

I know I used to be in charge of all of this on my own — but man …this house could eat you alive if you ever let your guard down! I’m kinda glad it’s Daddy’s turn at the helm.

Ten dramatic changes that have occurred despite my complete inability to herald them in on this blog in live time.

1. Miss Avery is now potty trained. If ever there was a sentence that could contain a whole library full of back story that would be it. This took more patience than any human should be allowed to exert in the face of human, umm, eliminations … and it also cost a small fortune in Dora toys. We are not without our accidents, or adamant refusals on the days where she likes being obstinate … but the true measure is that she no longer cares if we throw a parade or if it happens in relative quiet because she just knows that that is how it is done now.
The supply of Dora and Princess themed underwear is impressive. If they made panties that came with Wow Wow Wubbzy then life for the Little Miss would be perfect.

2. After a trial separation it was determined that the Puppy needed her family more than she needed her daily run to the lake. This decision wad finalized over the Fourth of July weekend when she disappeared with her cousin dog Mosby and it took a human search party on foot, ATV and car to find them hours later and close to heat exhaustion. The bear that now roams the neighborhood is also a very good reason for the dog without instincts to no longer be running wild.

3. Did I mention a bear? Yeah, he deserves his own spot on the countdown. I refer to this exhibit as the reason why I can now safely and loudly declare that my intentions of being a country girl were very foolish indeed. I like concrete. Traffic. Fenced in backyards.\

He is pretty cute though, isn’t he?

4. The boys are now 16 months old. SIXTEEN MONTHS.

5. After just over a month and a half in my new job I already gave my notice. This has nothing to do with the working-mom pains or the fact that I want to switch out and come back to being the stay-at-home Mommy.

I got a better job.

While in the middle of my last week at my current job though it’s hard to remember the upside while I’m surrounded by people I truly like and doing a job that I know I am good at. In the long run though - this new job is better for me as a person and also it follows my belief that you always have to make your decisions based on what is best for your family and your kids. This qualifies on both points equally.

6. Avery has now decided that she loves her brothers - the three if them play together in ways that make your heart melt. Don’t worry though, once I get all sentimental someone smacks someone else and the tears erupt. Sibling rivalry.. it’s only just begun.

7. The boys are toddlers in every sense of the word. They explore the world around them with a reckless abandon that leaves them with bruises but they come up from their spills laughing twice as often as they do with tears. They eat every meal with utensils and Evan has even mastered using a fork with such precision that he’s down to holding it between two fingers with his pinkie splayed out like royalty at tea. They still take bottles - but that’s mostly due to the fact that Alex has entered a whiny stage that is going to be the death of us. I have never seen or had a baby so.incredibly.annoyingly.whiny. I love him madly, really I do. (But this stage needs to end asap)

They had their 15 month check-up and they are perfectly healthy in every way. Teething, walking, dancing … being boys. Their personalities grow more and more different by the second but the bond between the two of them is so strong that I honestly don’t think they know how to think outside the confines of knowing that the other is always an arms reach away.

8. The Wiggles concert is in two weeks. Seriously.. this is one of the coolest things to happen to me this year. Yes, I am probably more excited about this than the kids are (they don’t know about it yet) … but the Wiggles have been the most dominant “star” and source of entertainment in my life for the past year and a half. Sigh… I’m just praying that my involvement in the kids’ entertainment ends right as the Tween Disney stage sets in.

9. I have let my camera down and it’s getting pissed off. I’m planning a photography vacation with my photography partner and whenever we hammer out those details expect me to start picking up the camera again. Until then.. I’m going to be slacking on the editing and posting on this site because I’m still starring down the barrel of a three month backlog.

10. My daughter can sing almost every Michael Jackson song. Her favorites - Bad, Beat It, PYT and the one that started it all off (prior to his death even so this was just weird timing for her to find her musical inspiration) is the Happy Birthday Lisa song from the Simpsons.

Yeah.. we’re going to totally rock her preschool interview in two weeks.